Real communication

Communication between two beings is more then just small talk, advices, venting, instructions, gossip etc. but a real connection that provides security to those involved in the process. This security is what helps open us up about our deepest fears, troubling thoughts, traumatic experiences and our unfulfilled desires, future dreams, revealing insights. Rarely, do we find people in our life with whom all of this can be shared, communication gaps are more prevalent than we think they are. However 'shallow communication' is not useless as it paves the way towards building rapport and nourishing the relationship towards 'deep communication' which is a space that is unjudging, free flowing and vast. A lack of sharing of these innate thoughts makes one feel alone than he/she usually is and can only foster imperfect aspirations and flawed perceptions about one's own narrative. No one is as crazy as they think they are, especially when everyone's mental health is a joke right now. It's all about meeting new and more 'interesting' people but how about renewing and rekindling relationships with one's old friends and relatives? I believe the bigger the family, the more happier everyone is, as there is a higher probability of you connecting with at least one of the family member or someone from the extended family. 

Why does communication help us so much? More than any kind of rationalization or self-motivation? When we are floating in the depths of our minds and observing the irregularities in our thought and behavior, we generally become angry or frustrated with oneself. We are always trying to 'be' someone and when you're trying to be someone, you will nevertheless come up short every now and then. This coming up short can create such resentment that it keeps building up slowly and slowly and one is left with no option but to be consumed by it. However, talking it out and can help you show that it is as much a natural and common phenomenon as 'farting in workplace'. No need for so much stress in your mind and tightness in your body, it releases a little every time you let it out almost like breaking up a knot in your muscles. Therapy is what you're doing when you listen to your friend with your complete attention and do not judge, give them the space to share what they're going through and validate them, give affirmative responses and help them help themselves. Close and tight knitted circle or group of friends is priceless. Hence, loyalty is the biggest virtue in a friend to aspire.

Seeking external help or therapy is only required when one is truly alone with no one around to talk to or in extreme situations of grief, trauma, stress where talking with friends/family is not helping and one's situation is just deteriorating. However, the therapist is no authority figure, no God and certainly not your Boss. The therapist is just like your friend, sister, brother etc. who gets paid to listen to you. Listening is an art much like public speaking. You have to be engaged throughout and not listen to come up with a reply or to to bring forth a rebuttal of some kind but listen as a human who can relate and feel to an extent what that person is going through. Good listeners are the most valued human beings and should be protected at all costs. They're more likely to be introverted or shy but that does not qualify one to be a good listener, they have an equally short attention span as extroverts. Hence, one should strive to be a good listener and give the gift of listening to people we love and care about.

There were so many things and topics that I thought that are meant to remain inside my mind because as a guy you are supposed to hide your true feelings and keep moving forward. But, it was only in the company of good listeners and in the space of real communication that I recognized: nothing is off limits! you can be as honest and real as possible even if the idea is gnarly, offensive, disrespectful, demeaning to someone. It is the truth no matter how much you try to deny, call a spade a spade and not sugarcoat it and present it in some other light. Hence, communication i.e. real communication mends our broken hearts, soothes the oozing angst in our spirit and reestablishes our faith in humanity.